About six years ago I was sitting with a female friend of mine, at an outdoor cafe, the Second Cup on Elgin near Gladstone, back when you could still smoke at outdoor uncovered patios. My friend & I were chatting about dating men, as we were both single at the time. We both mentioned in passing, how it’s hard sometimes to read if someone really likes you on the first few dates. Just then a European man in his 70’s smoking a pipe at the table next to us, introduces himself & says” I couldn’t help but hear your conversation ladies, would you like some advice from a man who has found the love of his life & spent 40 years with her until she passed?”
Intrigued by his soft but tired voice, we said,”absolutely Sir, we would love to hear a man’s side of things!”
The man begins to delve into his memories to serve us a very helpful piece of advice.
“The most important thing you young & vital ladies need to always remember is your worth! Never let just anyone date you for kicks, be very guarded who you let in your garden of life. If a person is interested in you, they will not only say it, they will show you they do. It’s not about money, they can spend very little but put a lot of thought into it. Here’s a good guide line on a first date for sure. If your date asks you to escort or meet them at a place for dinner or a show of some kind, they should always offer to pay. If they invite you out, it is always etiquette to pick up the tab for you. If that means they research or know how expensive the place before they invite you, so they know if they can afford it, well that’s their homework to do! If they are chivalrous, they will be interested in you, ask you questions, not just talk about themselves. They will hold the door open, help you with your coat & lastly offer you their arm in public, even walk you to your car or bus etc… They should be proud to be seen with you, but the best part of all, make you feel special, like you are the only two people in the room! If a person doesn’t think your worth the effort, they don’t deserve a second date. Before my wife died, She told me I always made her feel loved, appreciated for what she did for me and that I never made her feel jealous of other women, because she knew she was my Queen.”
In closing before we thanked him for his gift, he said one final thing to us. ” Use this as a test on a first date, if things are going pretty well during dinner, and he shows interest in you, then when the Bill comes, offer to pay your half of it. A real Gentleman would not even hear of it and right away say no, especially if he invited you out! If they allow you to pay, don’t give him a second date, or just keep them in the friend zone, you deserve to be wined & dined. There is nothing wrong with someone treating you well ladies, so please remember this when dating ok!” I wish you both, the kind of love my wife & I shared…
So now when I go on dates, that does ring true, every word of it. I will wait for that special heart to come my way, the one that gives me butterflies in my tummy, the one who never makes me wonder if I am their girl, they will show me!
Love always xo
Natalie L’amour 💋 💙